I’m baaaaaack! Please enjoy my first post in almost two years, in which I enquire whether tis better to be a chicken or a goose

During my bike ride to work last week, I came upon a large Canadian goose blocking the bike path. I aimed my bike directly at the goose and pedaled harder. As I accelerated towards the goose, he remained standing defiantly, majestically, suicidally resolute, directly in my path. As the distance closed to less than ten feet, rather than hustling off the path, the goose took a menacing step towards me. At the last moment I swerved, ending the game of chicken and avoiding a collision with the goose. As I rode away, I thought to myself, "I was chicken to a goose."

Now I ask whether tis better to be a chicken or a goose? I (the chicken) backed down from the face-off, choosing to avoid a conflict in which I and the goose would both undoubtedly have been injured to some degree. The goose (the goose) courageously stood in the face of imminent danger, winning the show-down.

 

When that goose stepped towards me rather than away, I was thrilled. I thought it was so awesome, so goose-y. And he won. He was no chicken. He has goose-nerves of steel. But what if I had also decided not to back down, to be a goose instead? Would he have survived that collision? Maybe. He surely would have drawn some of my blood with his raptor-bill in defense and retaliation. But I might have broken his neck. My bike is big, and so am I. So did the goose do well by being such a goose? I suppose, because he's no chicken and he's also unharmed. But that was risky on his part! That's courage for you.

 

When I swerved and became the chicken, I chose to admit defeat rather than to face the consequences of triumph. If the goose had been a chicken and waddled off that path in time, it would have been ok for me to be a goose. But if both of us chose to stay goose to the bitter end, both of us would have been sorry. I decided I didn't want that so I sacrificed courage for safety. Am I doubly chicken because I stepped down not to another human but to a goose- a mere fowl- something smaller and dumber than me? Or rather, did I actually display courage in willingly losing to an inferior opponent? A different type of courage, maybe, but courage nonetheless? Maybe I'm just trying to justify my chicken-ness.

 

Well, here's what I've decided: whether it was courage or cowardice that motivated my actions, I am glad that I was the chicken, and I am glad the goose was the goose. I was so delighted to see that goose be so defiant and brave and cool. And I am so glad that I'm not the jerk that hits a goose with a bike. That would have been horrible. I think we both came out winners; the goose on his spectrum of goosey-ness was fully goose, and I on my humanity spectrum am humane. Phew.